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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Guru, the Mad Monk (1970)

Moving forward with my "Terrorpolooza 2012" reviews, I come to a film that made me cringe... and not in a pleasantly horrified way...

Guru, the priest in charge of a prison, needs to do what he can to keep money coming into his pockets... and fresh "prey" for his mistress.  Unfortunately, his plan to use a female prisoner to coerce a simple minded fellow into doing his will backfires...

As I sit here, I'm trying to think of positive things to say about "Guru, the Mad Monk".  Unfortunately, I can't think of a single thing.

Actually, I can think of one thing.  The premise had potential.

Too bad the rest of the film reeked of awful poo poo.

I didn't care one iota about ANY of the characters.  None.  Complete apathy.  And that goes for the rather attractive female prisoner Najia.  I guess it didn't help that the hunchback's name was Igor.  Yes, one of the most original names for a hunchback in movie history.  Real quality thinking on that score.

The acting was quite simply abyssmal.  Add into the mix horrible costumes and wigs and you've got a real piece of cinematic garbage.  I've seen much better stuff on YouTube.

Camera work?  Just ugh- as are the "special" effects.  For a movie with hands being lopped off, and eyes being gouged, there is a surprising lack of blood spraying around the set- a serious lack of blood.  This is only worsened by the fact that you don't even SEE the actually lopping and gouging.

Don't ever ask me to watch this movie again, because I will make sure there is blood when I gouge out my own eyes.  Seriously.  This movie goes beyond The Ugly.

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