Some remakes are amazing and awesome- like John Carpenter's "The Thing". They reintroduce a great story to a new audience, while examining the themes and characters through a modern lens- and inspiring up and coming film makers to ask themselves how they'd tell the story themselves.
Others...
Well..
Um...
*sigh* Some just fucking suck...
Detective Malus receives a letter from his ex that their daughter has gone missing. Determined to find her, he travels to the neo-pagan commune where she lives to investigate.
Soon, he finds that all is not what it seems... and that he became a pawn in a chess game dating back years...
And he gets stung by bees... a lot of bees...
Don't watch 2006's "The Wicker Man". I mean it. Don't.
The concept was interesting, as is the basic story. That wasn't the problem. The problem was everything else.
I didn't like ANY of the characters- including Malus. None of them. They were all bland and dull and boring.
I didn't like the acting- including Nicolas Cage's. Usually, he's entertaining with his scenery chewing- but not this time. This time he was just too hammy, and boring.
When a movie viewer's brain starts quoting lines from "The Rock", but the movie they're watching ISN'T "The Rock", you know the movie's bad, folks.
Like intestinal flu induced shotgun shitting bad.
I have to put "The Wicker Man" in "The Ugly".
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