Halloween Day by Day: "The Wicker Man" (2006)

Some remakes are amazing and awesome- like John Carpenter's "The Thing". They reintroduce a great story to a new audience, while examining the themes and characters through a modern lens- and inspiring up and coming film makers to ask themselves how they'd tell the story themselves.

Others...

Well..

Um...

*sigh* Some just fucking suck...

Detective Malus receives a letter from his ex that their daughter has gone missing. Determined to find her, he travels to the neo-pagan commune where she lives to investigate.

Soon, he finds that all is not what it seems... and that he became a pawn in a chess game dating back years...

And he gets stung by bees... a lot of bees...

Don't watch 2006's "The Wicker Man". I mean it. Don't.

The concept was interesting, as is the basic story. That wasn't the problem. The problem was everything else.

I didn't like ANY of the characters- including Malus. None of them. They were all bland and dull and boring.

I didn't like the acting- including Nicolas Cage's. Usually, he's entertaining with his scenery chewing- but not this time. This time he was just too hammy, and boring.

When a movie viewer's brain starts quoting lines from "The Rock", but the movie they're watching ISN'T "The Rock", you know the movie's bad, folks.

Like intestinal flu induced shotgun shitting bad.

I have to put "The Wicker Man" in "The Ugly".

Comments

Zombie Bikers From Detroit (2001)

Over the years, it has been shown that with very little money, a skillful director can put together a high quality horror movie (John Carpenter's " Halloween ", " The Blair Witch Project ", and " Paranormal Activity " being a few of them). So, when it comes to determining a movie's quality, budget is no longer a negative... Ken and his mother have moved from Hell, Michigan to Grosse Pointe near Detroit. Upon his arrival, he meets the lovely Courtney, and her jealous suitor Chad. While Ken and Chad square off, an evil is growing within Detroit and slowly spreading towards Grosse Point... where Ken will meet his destiny ... This week's " What Movie Wednesday " winner was " Zombie Bikers From Detroit "- a low budget horror movie that feels like it was put together as a school project. High School, or College... I can't really tell. The premise- as stated in my little synopsis is interesting- as was the title. ...

Meridian: Kiss of the Beast (1990)

Sometimes, a director/producer will surprise you- such was the case during " Terrorpolooza 2012 " when I watched Charles Band's " Meridian: Kiss of the Beast " Catherine Bomarzini has come home after her father's death. Needing company, she asks Gina to stay with her. Soon, the two meet a wondering troupe of performers that Catherine invites to dinner at her castle. Catherine find herself pulled into a love triangle and an ancient curse that only she can break. After watching movies like " Evil Bong ", and " Demonic Toys ", I really wasn't expecting too much from this Charles Band movie- but I was pleasantly surprised by it. The story is actually quite interesting with lots of potential for eerie scenes, and character development. It's a nice twist on the classic " Beauty and the Beast " story. It's a bit slower than most of Band's other works, but moves smoothly and draws you with it. I have to ad...

"Re-Animator" Herbert West Figure (Reel Toys)

Horror fans enjoy surrounding themselves with items connected to their passion. It can be Halloween masks, movie posters, prop replicas or collectible figures. This week, I'm going to show you one of the collectible figures I've recently acquired- Reel Toys' " Re-Animator " Herbert West! The "bubble box" for the figure is pretty simple, but effective. I like the balance between the figure and the illustration on the front. The packaging also gives you a clear look at all the bibs and bobs that come with the figure. The illustration is great in my opinion. It stretches across the whole of the packaging- providing a nice background for the figure. The art style is nicely atmospheric and moody without going over the top. In fact, the backing card illustration is suitable for collecting on its own. The artist- Justin Osbourn, did a great job with it. The reverse of the backing card is also pretty good. There's a nice harmony between the font, ...

Search This Blog